I do not know what the 29th would bring for me, other than meeting a crush, perhaps. The thing is, I thought I had already lost that feeling, but surprise, surprise, it caught me unawares. I am 75% sure that my feelings aren't gonna be returned, but something makes me think otherwise: small instances in the past that speak volumes, not to mention the fact that these were spurred by varying states of sobriety, or the lack thereof. It really doesn't help that neither of us are ready. One is chasing dreams, despite the fear of it being a bit late, and the other is only beginning to make them after fruitlessly giving them up for people, despite the circumstances. It also doesn't help that I am viewed as a kid, which is quite frustrating. While I understand that I still have to experience a lot of things, the people around me don't have to rub it in. They should consider giving credit where credit is due. I dislike being made to feel inferior. I suppose that's how things will be for me for quite some time. I do need to focus on myself, but I really cannot help feel a little left out each time I see people fawning over my crush. See, I am extremely possessive when it comes to ties with the people I care for, because it is not always easy for me to make them. Imagine my indignation when some random folk comes along and befriends my friends in a heartbeat with little to no effort at all! It irks me because I somehow always fail to break free from my shell to do the same. Anyway, we both can't afford to be selfish, mainly because we are tied down to our families for the time being. Urgh. I do not know how to react how to react when we meet this saturday, or even later today or tomorrow. Urghhh. There are butterflies in my chest and I blargh.
Jojo's Weak pretty sums up the jitters. Hngggg.
Journals10
Newest
Jitters
4 min read
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From Dust
3 min read
Thanks Ubisoft and deviantART for giving me the chance to use a skin for a journal entry. Yay! I am so easy to please. Hahahaha.
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print('Hello World!')
2 min read
I've decided to show my deviantart page the love and attention it deserves. My blog has gotten too much of that and, well, it allowed to get to know a handful of persons. I almost always initially like the people I get to know, however, circumstances will eventually allow us to get to know them more, and the end result isn't always good. As much as people tell me that my blog is my personal space, there is still a feeling of discomfort from knowing that the people whom I may write about, however tangentially, has a high chance of reading them. My opinion of people, or at least my grievances towards others are things that I have almost always preferred to keep to myself. Sometimes, I learn that there are others who share the same view as I do, and only then would I feel comfortable with sharing my sentiments. At least this space here is far removed from my blog. It is much more candid, more personal.
I last made an update here last year and a lot of things have happened since then. I should celebrate who I am now and strive to better myself for my own, and my future's sake. I promised myself to do more art, do immerse myself more in my passions, and hopefully, this is a step towards that. The funny thing is that I've had this account for three years and yet there are simple things in DA that I haven't learned how to do yet, like using an emoticon, or a user's avatar(is that even the right term for it?). The time for my DA immersion, which was always postponed, has come.
So hello, Deviantart. Let's get to know each other again.
I last made an update here last year and a lot of things have happened since then. I should celebrate who I am now and strive to better myself for my own, and my future's sake. I promised myself to do more art, do immerse myself more in my passions, and hopefully, this is a step towards that. The funny thing is that I've had this account for three years and yet there are simple things in DA that I haven't learned how to do yet, like using an emoticon, or a user's avatar(is that even the right term for it?). The time for my DA immersion, which was always postponed, has come.
So hello, Deviantart. Let's get to know each other again.
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I'm Back
1 min read
After a year of absence here, I've finally returned. I'll try to add more stuff here. I hope that in this way, I'll slowly get rid of my habit of procrastination. Good luck, me!
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Mess. Everything's a mess
1 min read
As it stands, my like is in a bad mess. When did it get this way?
I need to withdraw from the world and try to recreate things. Or at least the peace I used to be in. That little bubble of reality around me wherein I felt secure. And free. Although I feel alone.
I need to withdraw from the world and try to recreate things. Or at least the peace I used to be in. That little bubble of reality around me wherein I felt secure. And free. Although I feel alone.
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